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We are blessed in America. I didn't realize how blessed we really are here in America until I experienced how people with disabilities are treated in another country and culture. I am now acutely aware of just how blessed we are to live in a country that values its members no matter what abilities they have.
We set out on an adventure this past fall to adopt our son from Ukraine. Denis was born in Berdyansk, Ukraine in 2009. His birth mother abandoned him at the maternity hospital there, and 5 months later he was transferred to the orphanage 3 hours away in Zaporozhye. He is a cute little guy, with bright red hair and dark brown eyes and an infectious smile. He was also born with spina bifida. His mother did not have the means to care for his medical condition.
In Ukraine, babies with special needs are routinely abandoned at the hospital and given to orphanages. The parents are told that the baby will get free medical care there, but the truth is, the babies spend all day every day in cribs. The parents would be ostracized from every part of society--they would not be able to find child care for their child, so they would lose their jobs. Family members would refuse to help them.
I was shocked that how rarely we saw a person with a disability in Ukraine. It didn't take long to realize the reason why we didn't see people with disabilities is because they are warehoused in orphanages and institutions, hidden from the society that threw them away from birth. In the orphanages there are thousands of beautiful children laying in beds and ignored. On the rare occasion we did see a person who was differently-abled, that person was ignored by the people around them. There were no ramps into businesses, no placard parking, no buttons to open doors, and no one stopped to help. We saw a young man in McDonald's who happened to have Down Syndrome, and I smiled and said "Privyet!" (Hello!) and he smiled back and said "Privyet!" back. He honestly looked shocked that anyone would talk to him!
At our son's orphanage, in his groupa, there were 18 children being cared for by 3 nannies. Denis was one of the more able-bodied children in his groupa, so he had to fend for himself more. They would not let him out of his crib because his legs got broken many times, due to malnutrition. He was in a "good" orphanage and was in "good condition" compared to some places and some kids my friends have seen. More than one friend of mine has brought home children with Down Syndrome who weighed less than 15 pounds at 5 or even 10 years old! One friend of mine brought home two teens this past summer, one girl with CP and a boy with spina bifida. The girl tells her mama about the nannies spitting in her face and calling her disgusting. They would put pillows on her face and tell her they hoped she'd just die, knowing she could not pull the pillows off by herself. The boy has legs that are damaged beyond repair, intentionally broken multiple times by the people who are paid by the Ukrainian government to care for him.
In Ukraine, these children have no value. Their post-soviet ideals still hang in the air and they treat those with disabilities as less than human because they are a "burden to society". They get the bare minimum in terms of food, medical care, and human contact.
In America, our positive social image of people with disabilities means that we were able to adopt our little guy and get him the help he needs. It means that our little guy will have the same opportunities as his four sisters, opportunities to get an education and to have a family and a career. Maintaining this positive image means that more babies will have the opportunity for LIFE, as more parents choose to have their babies rather than abort them out of fear of the unknown. It means that more parents will choose to adopt children who are born in countries that don't value them because we know we have the support from people around us.
We set out on an adventure this past fall to adopt our son from Ukraine. Denis was born in Berdyansk, Ukraine in 2009. His birth mother abandoned him at the maternity hospital there, and 5 months later he was transferred to the orphanage 3 hours away in Zaporozhye. He is a cute little guy, with bright red hair and dark brown eyes and an infectious smile. He was also born with spina bifida. His mother did not have the means to care for his medical condition.
In Ukraine, babies with special needs are routinely abandoned at the hospital and given to orphanages. The parents are told that the baby will get free medical care there, but the truth is, the babies spend all day every day in cribs. The parents would be ostracized from every part of society--they would not be able to find child care for their child, so they would lose their jobs. Family members would refuse to help them.
I was shocked that how rarely we saw a person with a disability in Ukraine. It didn't take long to realize the reason why we didn't see people with disabilities is because they are warehoused in orphanages and institutions, hidden from the society that threw them away from birth. In the orphanages there are thousands of beautiful children laying in beds and ignored. On the rare occasion we did see a person who was differently-abled, that person was ignored by the people around them. There were no ramps into businesses, no placard parking, no buttons to open doors, and no one stopped to help. We saw a young man in McDonald's who happened to have Down Syndrome, and I smiled and said "Privyet!" (Hello!) and he smiled back and said "Privyet!" back. He honestly looked shocked that anyone would talk to him!
At our son's orphanage, in his groupa, there were 18 children being cared for by 3 nannies. Denis was one of the more able-bodied children in his groupa, so he had to fend for himself more. They would not let him out of his crib because his legs got broken many times, due to malnutrition. He was in a "good" orphanage and was in "good condition" compared to some places and some kids my friends have seen. More than one friend of mine has brought home children with Down Syndrome who weighed less than 15 pounds at 5 or even 10 years old! One friend of mine brought home two teens this past summer, one girl with CP and a boy with spina bifida. The girl tells her mama about the nannies spitting in her face and calling her disgusting. They would put pillows on her face and tell her they hoped she'd just die, knowing she could not pull the pillows off by herself. The boy has legs that are damaged beyond repair, intentionally broken multiple times by the people who are paid by the Ukrainian government to care for him.
In Ukraine, these children have no value. Their post-soviet ideals still hang in the air and they treat those with disabilities as less than human because they are a "burden to society". They get the bare minimum in terms of food, medical care, and human contact.
In America, our positive social image of people with disabilities means that we were able to adopt our little guy and get him the help he needs. It means that our little guy will have the same opportunities as his four sisters, opportunities to get an education and to have a family and a career. Maintaining this positive image means that more babies will have the opportunity for LIFE, as more parents choose to have their babies rather than abort them out of fear of the unknown. It means that more parents will choose to adopt children who are born in countries that don't value them because we know we have the support from people around us.
