This one time at band camp (no joke) I was performing in front of thousands of people at the end of the summer. We were just finishing our intro when I felt a sudden urge to release hot stream of brown lava in my pants as I was playing my tuba. It was our biggest performance so I couldn't leave in the middle of it. We finished one song but the cramps were getting worse. Our instructor said I couldn't go and I had to wait for the end of the performance. I told him to screw it because I couldn't hold it any longer. The volcano erupted and the lava poured down my leg. There weren't any bathrooms for about 15 minutes. All I could think of was let it out in the tuba. I ran behind the bleachers and I exploded inside the trusted tuba. I didn't know how to empty it so I tried to blow in it would come out but it didn't. So I asked my instructor to check if he could get it to work. I lied and said it was stuck because i accidentally dropped my gum in it. He blew in it and the creamy mess flew all over the front row of the audience.